WHY IN THE WORLD DOESN'T THIS JOB COME WITH A MANUEL OR TRAINING OR
SOMETHING?!?!?! It's more important that any other job, yet we're left to wing it! Well, guess what world! I'm no good at winging it!!! I actually thought we were having a pretty good day. No melt downs, even though we seemed to spend most of the day out of the house running from place to place. But I should have known that that was too good to be true, because this evening it all hit the fan (what does that mean anyway? What hit the fan? And why did something hit the fan? I know I'm naive, but I don't get it...)!! By the end of the day I just feel like curling up in a ball, crying myself to sleep and staying asleep for at least a month!
Landon threw the BIGGEST fit tonight. I mean INSANE! There was screaming, wailing, hitting, fighting, gnashing of teeth even! There was no good reason, just a major over-reaction and it just continued to escalate. I am glad to report that I kept a calm and patient tone with him throughout the entire hour and a half ordeal. But I came out of it feeling like the biggest failure. I have NO clue how to handle him. NO CLUE! I get so sick of trying and failing. In other areas of my life I don't mind too much (to do things by trial and error). But in this one area, being a mom, where my kids happiness and lives depend on me, a single failure is not okay.
But as I'm writing this I'm remembering the
visiting teaching lesson this month and the quote from President Hinckley where he says:
“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. … Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried” (“Words of the Living Prophet,” Liahona, May 1998, 26–27; “Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, July 1997, 73).
And then I realized. I don't have to be 'winging it'. There is help. And even though I will have some times when I feel like I've failed, I know I can continue to try and as long as I remember to depend on the Lord, He'll help. And why not? These are His spirit children. He loves them. He wants them to be happy and return to Him even more than I do.
So even though there will be days where I feel like crying and throwing in the towel because all of my work and love and worry don't seem to be getting me anywhere, I know it's worth continuing. Right?
Right? Please tell me I'm right!
WHY IN THE WORLD DOESN'T THIS JOB COME WITH A MANUEL OR TRAINING OR SOMETHING?!?!?! It's more important that any other job, yet we're left to wing it! Well, guess what world! I'm no good at winging it!!! I actually thought we were having a pretty good day. No melt downs, even though we seemed to spend most of the day out of the house running from place to place. But I should have known that that was too good to be true, because this evening it all hit the fan (what does that mean anyway? What hit the fan? And why did something hit the fan? I know I'm naive, but I don't get it...)!! By the end of the day I just feel like curling up in a ball, crying myself to sleep and staying asleep for at least a month! 
Landon threw the BIGGEST fit tonight. I mean INSANE! There was screaming, wailing, hitting, fighting, gnashing of teeth even! There was no good reason, just a major over-reaction and it just continued to escalate. I am glad to report that I kept a calm and patient tone with him throughout the entire hour and a half ordeal. But I came out of it feeling like the biggest failure. I have NO clue how to handle him. NO CLUE! I get so sick of trying and failing. In other areas of my life I don't mind too much (to do things by trial and error). But in this one area, being a mom, where my kids happiness and lives depend on me, a single failure is not okay.
But as I'm writing this I'm remembering the visiting teaching lesson this month and the quote from President Hinckley where he says: “Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. … Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried” (“Words of the Living Prophet,” Liahona, May 1998, 26–27; “Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, July 1997, 73). 
And then I realized. I don't have to be 'winging it'. There is help. And even though I will have some times when I feel like I've failed, I know I can continue to try and as long as I remember to depend on the Lord, He'll help. And why not? These are His spirit children. He loves them. He wants them to be happy and return to Him even more than I do.
So even though there will be days where I feel like crying and throwing in the towel because all of my work and love and worry don't seem to be getting me anywhere, I know it's worth continuing. Right?
Right? Please tell me I'm right!
6 comments:
You're right. Definalty right. And I just have to say that I think that first picture of Addie is ADORABLE!!
Also, I had a dream about you and your family last night (not surprising becuase I do at least twice a week) but Landon and Addie both LOVED me nad they were so grown up and adult like...which is probably how they really are now, but it's been a while since I've seen either of them...but not for long!!!
You are right!!! I am sad to say I know the feeling though, but this month's vt meassage is such a great reminder. I hope the rest of your week is great :)
Sarah, I think you're a great mom. Just like our mom. And I didn't realize how great our mom is until I was a little older and I probably still don't realize it. So, give it a few years and I think they'll apprecaite a little more all you've done for them.
I agree with James. You are one of the BEST mothers I know. Just keep at it and all will be well. Love you lots!!!
Addie's face is heartbreaking! How can you be upset with such pathetic looking little ones?
I think you're right. It will all be worth it some day and our kids will love and adore us, right? I'm glad to know that I'm not the only mom out there that has hard days and feels like giving up (even if it's only for a minute). You're a great mom Sarah, and from what I've seen, you're doing a fabulous job.
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